Sometimes I'll do something brilliant like stop writing in the middle of a sex scene. Talk about a mood-killer.
Judging from the number of hits I get when searching for advice on writing sex scenes, a lot of people find them difficult. I'm no exception — it's always interesting for me to try to draw on my own experiences, but twist them to the characters. (You probably don't want to read details about my sex life.)
When I do something stupid like stop writing in the middle of a sex scene, I have to re-read what I've read so that there's some continuity — not only in movement and action, but in mood and tone. All the details matter, because I've got to make the sex as unique as possible.
In dialogue, I can pick up the flow immediately because I know what needs to get said, and how the conversation will wind there. There probably won't be another conversation that needs to get the same point across, so I don't have to worry about variety. In sex, we all know the end goal, but if I go straight there that's a bad experience for the characters, for one thing, and also rather boring for the reader. I don't want a sex scene to be just another sex scene; I want it to be that sex scene, the one they remember because it was the furious mating at the base of the staircase.
And to get ready to write that intense staircase sex scene, I do need to be on a different writing wavelength than to write the dreamy first time between the two.
Okay. Off to try to get back into my wine-soaked, passionate on-the-rug sex scene.